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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] By this logic, no one should have a +1. Maybe the OP’s daughter could replace another cousin’s newest girlfriend? And 7 year old girls don’t run around and scream any more often than anyone else. 17 year old girls might if you get a couple of them together, but 7 year olds don’t. [/quote] Seriously? Sorry but I think you’re one of those ‘special snowflake’ kind of parents. I worked weddings for a year at the hottest venue in the town - saw lots of kid free receptions and lots of receptions with kids. What happens almost universally at weddings with kids is that parents of those kids get more and more neglectful of watching their kids as the reception goes on. Kids of ALL ages get overstimulated by the music, the unfamiliar setting and behaviors of adults in attendance (yes I mean the intoxicated behavior of many adults) and the kids very often get into feral play behavior with cousins they haven’t seen in years and kids they’ve never met. I can’t tell you the number of disgusting messes I’ve cleaned up caused by kids - they especially like to recreate dramatically the cake eating portion of the reception, with added emphasis and overdramatized rendition of the crushing cake on the face aspect of this ritual. I’ve also numerous times seen waitstaff and/or attendees injured by tray accidents that happened because children were running around unattended while large trays of hot food and beverage were being delivered to tables at mealtime. I went to several weddings as a young child. My aunt Bonnie’s I remember most fondly - I was fascinated with the rule that the bride & groom had to kiss anytime a guest tapped their champagne glass with cutlery; I did it several times and my mom scolded me, but my aunt Bonnie shushed her. :) If more parents parented today the way they did in my childhood - at least in terms of expectations of behavior in public, especially restaurants, etc. - then more folks would probably want kids at their weddings. Child portions are cheaper and many venues discount kids in the headcount too. I honestly think that many people who choose a kid free wedding do it to avoid the presence of special snowflake kid behavior that cannot be curtailed by discipline because that would crush the child’s spirit forever and ever. [/quote] NP. I was with you until you started acting like Boomer parents drank less and were more watchful of their kids at events than current parents of young kids. Uhhhh...nope. Boomers are by far the bigger drinkers and more apt to tell their kids to "go play" with no supervision so they can drink (and smoke). Like sorry, nope. [/quote] Your mileage may vary poster, I’m simply speaking of my experiences. Yes in the 70s (my parents were actually born before WWII in ‘32 and ‘40 so not boomers, maybe that’s the key) we were free range ‘go play, be home by dinnertime’ in many respects, but in a formal public setting like a wedding reception or restaurant or movie theater, we were expected to shush and act right or we got taken out pretty close to immediately. None of the letting kids run around a restaurant or up and down the aisles of the theater or talking/crying/screaming loudly on and on and on, ruining the meal or movie for other patrons because special snowflake’s parents don’t want to make the sacrifice of getting up and walking out with an unruly child until said child can compose themselves - or better yet, being an accurate judge of the child’s capacity to behave in such a setting before bringing them along in the first place. Get a babysitter? Leave the kids home? No way! Special snowflake must be part of every activity even at an age when special snowflake will form zero memory of the event. I love kids, fiercely. I hate much of modern parenting, which makes kids unlikeable to many people and sets them up for an adulthood of massive disappointment when the rest of the world doesn’t appreciate and reward their special snowflake behavior. When I worked in the juvenile justice system I saw this routinely - and the shocked attitudes of parents who just couldn’t grasp how their indulgent (I consider it neglectful) parenting resulted in such a messed up teenager or young adult. [/quote] Thanks for your anecdata. In MY experience, our parents' generation didn't check on kids at all during parties and events. You're trying to have it both ways; you're trying to cast parents today of being hovering/micromanaging/can't-be-without-my-kids, or negligent. Pick a lane. [/quote]
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