Reply to Sad about minuscule pool of eligible men after divorce at 44

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s silly to think that every divorced man or woman out there is damaged goods.  My husband and I are separating after 20 years because we basically fell out of love years ago.  We’ve been more like friends and roommates for years, he doesn’t spark attraction in me anymore and probably vice versa, and we’re both ready to move on now that both kids are almost out of high school.  He’s a great man and he would make someone a great husband or partner.  And I hope he does find love again...which speaks to how my feelings for him have changed and I don’t really feel jealous at the thought of that.

I’m sure he and I are not the only ones in this situation.  I hear it mentioned on this board a lot...that love has evolved into a non-romantic, more roommates kind of marriage.[/quote]

Out of curiosity, what spurred one or both of you to actually suggest divorcing?  I think most marriages like yours stay together and consider themselves success stories.[/quote]

It was the comment someone made above about faking it, that explains it the most.  We’ve both realized that we would make great partners for someone, even if that someone is not each other.  And we may never meet someone else.  But we’d both rather go out and live the lives we each want specifically rather than faking it staying married, not really using the short time we have to do what truly makes us happy.  And we’re parting as good friends with lots of affection for each other.

Some of the specific reasons....we have no real sexual attraction for each other anymore, any spark was gone long ago.  We’re basically roommates and friends now.  We want to live in different places after the kids are out on their own, me near my father especially, wanting to spend more time with him before he passes away.  We have different interests that have more broadly separated, so that we rarely do things together now outside of the house.  That’s just a few of them. [/quote]

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