Reply to My gf slept with someone while we were broken up. Now I’m unsure if I want to be with her.

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Reply to "My gf slept with someone while we were broken up. Now I’m unsure if I want to be with her."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, check yourself. You sound controlling and misogynistic.  You were BROKEN UP.  If you had never gotten back together, of course, she should have moved on. She can have “mourning/ break-up sex” as she tries to get over her break-up with you. She can fall in love. She can think a relationship has potential and then have it fall apart. She can have a one-night stand if she wants. The point is, it’s her life and her decision. You had sex with someone else so I just don’t understand all the pearl clutching about her decision when you were BROKEN UP. [/quote]

Do you think just because they were broken up he has to be okay with it? You can’t help how feel. I genuinely would like to understand.[/quote]

No, you don't have to be okay with it. However, you don't get to treat this woman badly for doing something you did. That is just unacceptable on every level. That is what OP did.

I don't know about the rest of the women on this board, but if my ex-boyfriend called me after several months of no contact when we'd both been dating other people to reconcile, I likely wouldn't even take the call. If I took the call and the substance of it was "I want to get back together but now that I know we both had sex with other people while we were broken up, I don't know and so I will be taking a couple days to figure out if I still want to reconcile." YOU called ME. I didn't call you. You don't get to tell me that I now have to wait for some indeterminate amount of time while you decide if you still want to date me. At best, I would consider that to be a vaguely amusing drama bomb that I could entertain my friends with while not getting back together with OP.

If he wasn't okay with her sleeping with someone else while broken up, he shouldn't have slept with someone else when they were broken up. If he wasn't okay with her sleeping with someone else while they were not together, the decent thing to do would have been to tell her that this disclosure changes how he feels about the situation and then to move on. None of this "I need a few days to decide."

Girlfriend was right. If you want to get back together, you accept that single people do what they want while broken up. If you are a person who has standards about that, fine, date someone else. If OP thinks he has standards about that, he's a hypocrite, since he did the exact same thing. [/quote]

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