Reply to SIL who never shows a crack in the armor

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Reply to "SIL who never shows a crack in the armor"

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[quote=Anonymous]OK, I have a lot of points to make here.

1. I think not wanting constant texts about someone's every whimsical triumph or cooking-baking prowess is pretty normal. If you didn't ask for an IV drip of sunshine via text, yes, I can see how it's annoying. I'd feel this way about anyone who texted me all the time. Write a newsletter on Medium! I don't think this makes someone a grump or a defeatist. It's really about reading the room. And it's REALLY about reading the room when the recipient of the text is going through hard times, and tone deaf to persist in the messages.

2. I will say the happiest people don't need to advertise it, but some people are also just really clueless and think that "connecting" is about sharing only happy things. My own personal belief is that connections feel more real when you share good and bad, but some people have been raised or conditioned not to, or are even afraid to be raw in this way. Focusing on the good is their way of coping. It doesn't make them bad people.

3. It sounds like here that it's volume and minutiae. I think there's a difference between being genuinely glad for one-off text about someone's super cool new trip, for example, versus needing to conjure up enthusiasm over someone's Duncan Hines brownies.

4. Envy is like drinking poison. It seems like you are having a rough time and want this person to also acknowledge that they have rough times too. But they might never do so for reasons outlined above. It doesn't mean you wish ill on them, but it sounds like you are groping for a connection that might not ever happen. Look elsewhere.

5. On that note - take yourself off the text chain, stop responding as often, or mute. Turn down the volume and make the messages less apart of your life.

6. Some of the advice here is downright cruel and people seem to enjoy it. It's a weird fluke about online forums. Turn down the volume there, too. :)

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