Reply to My wife cheated on me for 2 years with a co-worker...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^overwhelmingly in favor of telling.

The only circumstance suggesting not to tell was if the kids had no idea and you weren’t divorcing.

If they have suspicion, if family knows and it could slip out, if you already have g/friend, b/friend, if it was with a person they know...

Re-read BOTH articles and not with a self-serving view of not having to face people knowing what you did.[/quote]

No, not overwhelmingly in favor of telling. You’re just plain wrong. Also, it’s the opinion on one therapist. Hardly the gospel.

Yeah, telling children their mother is a horrible person will surely make the divorce easier for everyone. I’m starting to believe you were cheated on and chose to tell your children. That’s horrible in my opinion.  [/quote]

+1. It is horrible. And worse than cheating itself.[/quote]

But the unfaithful spouse is mistaken to believe the pain inflicted by the affair happens at the moment the child is told. No, the harm done to the child occurs at the moment that that partner elected to go outside the marriage for an emotional or physical relationship. When an affair happens, it cheats the spouse and the family of the love and commitment of a partner and parent. Telling the child may put an ugly name on why a parent has pulled away from the family, but it is, ultimately, naming a truth. And if there is one thing that affairs teach us, it is how devastating lies can be.[/quote]

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