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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Wife resents me for not earning more"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ok, problem solving time here... OP, why don't you consider an in-house counsel job? Surely the hours would be the same as Fed, pay much better and the opportunity to catch equity windfalls are there if you land in a nice/small publicly traded company. It's how we got out of school debt, tbh. [/quote] OP has already said he imagines he'll go to a fin reg agency, which is the same salary his wife currently makes but with better hours, benefits, and stability than in house. But he's not going to actually apply for any fin reg jobs, even though there's currently a glut of openings at the moment, because that would mean she won, or something? He doesn't want to problem solve. He wants to trash his wife on a message board.[/quote] [b]OP has said multiple times that he intends to apply in a couple years, but he is currently not qualified to get one of those jobs so there is no sense in applying. [/b] The hate for OP on this thread is ridiculous. He has a good job with excellent (economic and non-economic) benefits above and beyond his salary. He expects moderate salary growth in the future. He and his wife have paid off a $240k of student loans in a relatively short amount of time. The fight he and his wife are having over income (whether he should make a little more or whether she should make a little less) is irrational-- because that extra amount he makes or little bit she loses is not the difference between the lifestyle they have vs the lifestyle his wife wants. Him making $50k more is not going to let his wife stay home or give them a 1%er lifestyle. Her making a little less in government will still afford them a sold UMC lifestyle. In other words, his wife is just unhappy about working alot and the choices she's made, and she's looking to pin it on something or someone else. Sucks for OP that he has to bear the brunt of it. [/quote] That is something he said once, but it doesn't actually make sense. Either he's working somewhere he's getting fin reg experience now, in the federal government, in which case he could apply for a lateral (which would be an immediate pay raise based on the scale), or he was doing fin reg in Big Law and is not at his current job in the government, in which case a couple of more years wouldn't make him better positioned. And again: these jobs are usually few and far between, and dozens of posts are up now. I was actually Team OP until he started changing his story to try to make his wife the scapegoat. I actually posted very early on to say "you can fix this as a team, just make sure she knows you support her taking a step back" and I was not the only one with actionable, concrete advice. But over the course of several pages he only responded to people dogging her out and calling her every name in the book, and ignored any constructive advice to actually help his wife and/or marriage. The last straw was the bit about how his wife, who currently works harder than him and makes more money than him in his own telling, would be asking for him to *rescue* her if she stepped back to the same kind of job [i]he currently has[/i]. I'm not surprised people are taking his side, there's reflexive misogyny all over these boards (see the PP excoriating OPs wife for her two BMW leases every two years and European vacations - completely invented, but DCUM has never let that get in the way!), but I think his posts clearly lay out that he's a bad husband and partner. [/quote]
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