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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a WW so you may not want to hear from me, I am sorry for what you are going through. After d-day, my H made the decision not to decide at that time. He recognized he was a mess because of my actions. That did not mean I had a get-out-of-jail-free card; he had very specific expectations from me to even give our marriage a chance. So my advice is you do not need to make a huge decision immediately. Maybe give it six months. Or a year. Or not! Frankly, you have the right to make the decision you want at any time. Your husband took the truth of your life away from you for at least nine months, and now that you have that truth, it is your right to make the choice you feel is best for you (and your kids) at any time...whether that is now, in a year, in five years. Again, I am sorry you are going through this, and good luck.[/quote]

Are you only remorseful for getting caught?  [/quote]

I am this PP. I hate what I did, I hate that I thought my actions were okay, I hate that I changed my spouse irrevocably. I am remorseful because I hurt people with my own selfish choices. If I could go back and change my choices I would but I can't, so I decided to take responsibility for my actions, do therapy, self-reflect and make deep, introspective change in myself. I understand that some will not believe that it can be done, because too many Wayward Spouses talk the talk but never walk the walk. It's not easy to look in the mirror and know you're the bad guy in this scenario. It's a lot easier to deflect and deny and especially self-justify, and unfortunately many take that the easier path instead of getting to the root cause and working toward becoming a healthier and more authentic person.

As for OP, now that she has the truth of her life she can decide what to do moving forward. She can make that decision at any time, when she is ready. I do think individual therapy would be good, for her to have a safe place to vent and work through feelings and future plans. Good luck OP.[/quote]

What things did he require if you? Did he mount a ring doorbell on all entryways and Nest cameras all over the house if you had the affair at home?  If not, did he put a magnetic GPS tracker on the bottom of your car and hide voice active recorders inside your car and home?  Did he run a credit report to see if you had credit cards or accounts he didn’t know of? Is he requiring quarterly STD testing?  Does he not allow you to travel or for her to have overnights or “sleepovers with her girlfriends”?  Did he have you end any relationship ships with girlfriends that aided in her deception and served as alibis?  Did he make you switch to a flip phone?  Did he install key logger in all laptops/home computers?  Is he requiring you to stay in therapy indefinitely?

Did he get an adequate explanation of “why” you chose to screw other men?

These are all serious questions.  I’m not sure what men do to believe their cheating wives have stopped their behavior?[/quote]

You’re psychotic and need therapy. Your poor DH.[/quote]

If I were married to her, I would not trust her.  It was an honest question/s about what he actually did to feel she was not still having the affair and/or starting a new one.[/quote]

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