Reply to Why do people with demanding jobs choose to have 3+ kids?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Why do people with demanding jobs choose to have 3+ kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a SAHM so this thread isn’t addressed to me but what do you mean by “spending time with your kids”? My kids would rather play with their friends (or each other now that we’re  locked down). We do fun stuff together, in the before times we did solo outings occasionally, but I’m their mom, not their playmate. If they want to help me cook dinner or go for a walk and talk about life or weed the garden together, cool. [/quote]

This. I like you, PP. And I'm a WOHM (currently working at home). I enjoy it when people who make different choices can agree on things. I wish more of DCUM was like this.[/quote]

Agree.  What is with all the insistence of 1:1 time.  Kids don't want that daily for prolonged periods [/quote]

It’s not just about 1:1 time. A parent also has to spend time thinking about the kid too. Whether they’re meeting milestones. Whether they’re okay physically, emotionally, socially, academically. Helping them with homework. Buying clothes for them. Finding good activities and summer camps to enroll them in. Participating in events for school and activities.

Most parents with demanding jobs and too many kids either outsource all of that parenting to others. Or else decide they’re not going to bother and just do the bare minimum for their kids. And I’m not a SAHM, btw. [/quote]

I’m the original SAHM poster, and I absolutely would not be able to do all the stuff I do and have a demanding full-time job. But most of what I do could be easily done by someone else! School events, assessing activities and milestones and helping kids deal with social issues, sure, that really does want a parent. But my time is mostly spent tidying, cooking, cleaning, mediating squabbles, wiping butts, transporting — all of that a good nanny or housekeeper could do just fine. It’s not how I choose to live my life, both because I enjoy doing these things to take care of my family and because it’s easier to keep track of what’s going on my kids’ lives when we’re in the same place, but it’s certainly possible. My husband seems to do all the “this really needs a parent” jobs while running a company. I guess he and I spend more time talking about the kids than we would with a hypothetical nanny? [/quote]

Thank you. Someone has to do those things, but they are not the most important part of parenting. The important part is the helping with emotional regulation, the emotional support, listening. I can pay someone to wipe butts if I have a job. For us we waited to have a third until we felt we could be emotionally present enough for them. This requires outsourcing of other things so we could prioritize our mental health. Can’t pour from an empty cup and all that[/quote]

Wait, so you outsource buying clothes for your kids, planning activities and summer camps, participating in their events?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics