Reply to "Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

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Reply to ""Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's often an unfortunate confluence of the kid being precocious and the parents being absent/oblivious/lazy.

I was one of these kids. Matured relatively early, was on a not so great path by age 12. Pretty precocious with boys and wanting to experiment with lots of crowds and things I wasn't wise enough to know weren't actually cool or good.

I was an only child and very responsible and self aware. My parents were good parents and were loving, but were NOT child-centric at all, so by age 10 or 11 they basically considered me a small adult and treated me as such. That wasn't a good thing.

I had an incident in middle school that resulted in being labeled as a "slut" and they immediately blamed everyone but themselves, pulled me, and sent me on a totally different (elite private school) path. That ended up being very good for me academically and socially, but while I regard that period with a lot of shame and pain and sadness, they regard it with a mix of celebration and total loss of memory for how it actually went down. That is so hurtful.

As an adult, I blame my parents very much for not facilitating/encouraging the things that would have been age-appropriate, and would have kept me in childhood longer. It was their job to say "no," to observe, to require activities and not let me latchkey (money was no issue), etc... I will not make the same mistake with my kid. They can resent me for all kinds of things, but it won't be lack of active parenting and involvement. [/quote]

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