Reply to WWYD: DH becoming cheap, workaholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From now on, his big spending needs to be matched with something for you.  He wants to join a golf club?  Fine, then the answer is yes if you also get a vacation or a year's worth of a housekeeper.  Otherwise it's a veto.  Stand your ground.

And ditto PP's who mentioned virtual tutoring.  You could make a lot of money while helping kids struggling with the pandemic, and make independent and quick cash without leaving the house.  Your teacher background is a HUGE draw.[/quote]

What for?  They already have more money than they need.  How does working more and bringing more money into the household help?  [/quote]

Seriously.

If the husband doesn’t feel secure with 1 million a year, ten thousand extra is going to be laughable.

[/quote]

It's so OP will have her own money to buy a new rug and take a non on law vacation. [/quote]

She already has the money to do that.    [/quote]

No, she doesn't. Her dh controls the money, and he is not authorizing those expenditures. So if OP wants a new rug, she apparently needs to earn the money herself. While her dh buys expensive cars and joins expensive golf clubs.[/quote]

Speaking as someone in a similar situation, her DH will continue to control the money until she decides not to let him.  Her earning a small portion of the family income is not going to be enough to give her decision making power.  
And she can take money out of their joint account whenever she wants to.  She can even put it in a secret bank account in her name only.  As long as it isn’t more than half of their savings, he can’t do anything but be angry.  
She doesn’t need a job.  She needs to learn to tolerate her husband’s disapproval.  It probably won’t be as bad as she thinks.  [/quote]

Yes but she has to move half of it quickly, which is hard to do. He can do the same, and he controls ALL the income, so if they both move to private accounts she will have what she managed to move and that’s it.

I suspect he will retaliated but good luck [/quote]

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