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[quote=Anonymous]Parenting a teen/tween is rather like parenting a 3yo who’s had debate training and a career in upper management. They want desperately to crack the code on adult things, but they also sleep with stuffed animals. At any given moment, they act 6 or 26.

1) Give choices: “Do you girls want to go to Michaels and look around for a craft kit you might like to do? Or do you want to spend the afternoon helping me make dessert for our dinner tonight?” If they choose Michaels, set some parameters for budget and turn them loose. If they choose dessert, encourage them to get experimental and praise the process and result.

2) Carrots work better than sticks: “There’s supposed to be an amazing sunset tonight. We’ll take a walk up the trail to the top of the hill — it’s only about a 15-minute walk and not very steep. I’ll bring some La Croix and we can toast the sunset, then you can each use my phone to take some selfies, and we’ll send them to your parents.”

3) Give the why along with the what: “I need to send my old phone back to Verizon because that way I get a rebate which helps me pay for my new phone. That keeps the cost within my budget.” “Starbucks’ advertising strategy is to blanket an area in stores — constantly seeing the signs keeps them fresh in your brain. Obviously we can’t go in every one or we’d never get where we’re going — plus we wouldn’t have any money for anything else. But when we’re done with our tour, I’ll treat you to Starbucks or ice cream — your choice.”

4) Listen more than you talk: “I hear that some schools have a problem with cliques as girls get older. Do you think that happens in your school?” “What’s a good movie I should watch?” “Little Larlo and Larla need some new books for Christmas. Do you remember any of your favorites from when you were a little kid?”

You are not going to create transformative ah-hah moments in these girls’ lives in one weekend. But you can plant some seeds, [/quote]

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