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[quote=Anonymous]Is it a drop off party? If so, I think I would invite her.  At 8, you're going to be supervising pretty closely, right?  I would just say within earshot of the girl at all times (or assign your spouse if you need to do something else).  If she says anything hurtful or racist, I would just say very firmly "We do not tolerate that kind of hurtful language in our house.  What you are saying is unkind and ignorant.  You may apologize to XXX right now, or I will call your parents and they can pick you up."

I'm in the camp of kids say dumb sh-t frequently.  Kids raised by morons will say it more frequently, because they parrot what they here.  Some of that dumb sh-t will be offensive and hurtful.  Our job as a community is to teach kids not to be that way.  I've said things to groups of teens  at restaurants that I heard making offensive comments, or to the kids in the groups that I work with. If I heard a girl saying something like "You shouldn't eat cake -- you're too fat" I would 100% say something right there and then.  I think if you called the kid out on the inappropriate comment right there and then, it would have three effects: (1) the kid that was targeted would feel protected and validated; (2) the other kids would immediately know that was NOT OKAY, and would likely rally around the target to support them; and (3) the girl in question would seriously think about whether what her parents say is consistent with what her peers and other people in the community think.  That might not sink in right away, but I think there's a decent change that at some point in her life, it would.

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