Reply to I’m so, so sad that DD will be missing one of the most significant parts of life

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Reply to "I’m so, so sad that DD will be missing one of the most significant parts of life "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's like dismissing someone's miscarriage by saying it wasn't a real baby, or dismissing sadness over a house burning down by saying that the person is too materialistic. Losing something that is important to you sucks. Kids don't have the experience to understand that there will be many more highlights to come.[/quote]

I can't believe you would compare senior year fun to a baby or a house. And it is absolutely your job to teach your kids to take disappointments in stride, make the most of the present, and look forward to the future.[/quote]

It is a parent's job to encourage kids to take disappointments in stride. It is not the a parent's job to tell a child their feelings don't matter. In fact, failing to acknowledge feelings of loss undermines the resiliency we are trying to foster. It doesn't matter if you hated high school, don't remember senior year, or remember senior year as the worst year of your life. If OP's DD was looking forward to it and is upset about losing the experience she expected, it is perfectly fine to let her experience that sense of loss before reframing the year in the most positive light. And the same is true of OP's feeling of loss for her daughter. She has a right to feel that way - this situation sucks.

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This is not about the child’s feelings. This is about OP’s feelings. And while she has a right to feel the way she does, it doesn’t mean that her reaction is mature, reasonable, or helpful. [/quote]

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