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[quote=Anonymous]I only read OP- didn’t read replies- no time.

I will say that my ILs sound much like your family- Republican alcoholics. Also extremely religious (yes really) and racist. They hate me- I am none of those things. I would rather poke my eye out than spend time with them.

We’ve been married 15 years and really the only way it works is: DH can spend as much time with him as he likes. They are his family- makes no difference to me really, and he has a right to do so. For me? I see them at weddings, funerals, maybe Christmas- out of respect for DH. Kids are a sticking point- they see the kids marginally more often than they see me but still not a lot.

If my DH wasn’t ok with this, I’d bail. The idea of seeing them every weekend- total hell. I’d ditch the marriage. Not worth it.

Not sure what else is going on but thought I’d provide an alternate perspective from a spouse’s viewpoint.

You’ll probably have to choose (somewhat) between your family of origin and your DH. Choose wisely, with your kids’ welfare  foremost in your mind, is all I will say.

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