Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Op here

This is correct. My wife does not want to pay our sitter an extra $40/day (we pay her $20/hr for after school care) so that I can spend 2-3 hours with my mom in the afternoon.

Im off at 3, but my parents live 1 hour from my work. I would get home around 5PM, my wife gets home at 6. Normally we had a sitter pick our kids up from school and watch them until I got home at 3:30. But we would now need them to watch the kids from 7-5:30. My parents live 1 hour from my house.

My wife does not like my sister in general. She is married to an alcoholic and his behavior at holidays has been terrible. He is completely useless and can’t be trusted to watch his mother in law. My sister has spent many nights at our house with her kids, saying she’s going to leave him but she never does. I think my wife kind of lost it after she helped my sister get set up with counselling and a plan to leave and she never followed through:

My wife is a social worker and is vehemently opposed to the idea in general.[/quote]

OP this is not going to work. Your wife is 100% correct.

Its not just an additional $40 X 4 days so $160 a week. You also need to factor in gas since you will be driving 2 hours everyday. Gas is cheap now but with normal prices you are probably looking at an additional $50 a week in gas plus significant ,mileage on your car. You are also underestimating your commute/sitter time. If your parents are 1 hour away at 3pm, you arrive at 4 and stay with your mom and your dad gets home at 4:30 then you are not leaving until 4:45. This would put you home at 5:45 not 5:30 IF traffic on your route is the same at 3pm as it is at 4:30 which is unlikely. You are most likely looking at needing the nanny until 6pm so even more money.

You will be exhausted from working all day, jumping in the car for an hour, visiting your parents and then driving another hour. Your wife will end up with all the evening childcare and you are giving up 10 hours a week of time with your kids.

Your sister on the other hand will go over once a week with little to no additional cost. If your parents provided childcare when her kids were younger and they haven't moved then its also likely that your sister lives closer.

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