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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find that parents of higher functioning kids are the most thrown off by SN. They mourn their easy/non SN life. Those of us with kids who have profound needs let that ship sail tears ago. 
I really wish we could divide SN parents into gen education & severe & profound. One group needs the resources & supourt they Are not getting... because they are potty training non verbal 8 year olds. And the other group takes the resources so they can go back to ‘normal’. 
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You get that special needs don't fit so neatly into these buckets you have set you, right?  Take my kid, for example.  They have a genius level IQ but in a non-mainstreamed special education program.  They are very high functioning unless there is a crisis.  But, when there is a crisis, the needs are severe and profound, requiring significantly greater resources than are already in place, including hospitalization and residential care.

As for mourning, some special needs are not apparent until our kids are older.  So while it may seem that we engage in excessive and prolonged mourning, maybe we are just on a different time line.

Finally, every kid should get the resources they need and every parent should advocate for their child to get those resources.  Resources should not all go to those kids with severe and profound issue - if you could even figure out where that line would be drawn.  It is always going to be the case that some kids get greater resources simply because their parents have more money and can pay for them or because their parents are better at understanding their needs and articulating what resources are necessary for their child's success.

No parent should be made to feel bad because their child is not as bad off as someone else's.  No parent should feel guilty for advocating and accepting services for their child.  And, no parent should be belittled because they are working hard to get their child  what their child needs.

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