Reply to Anderson Cooper is a dad!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So whose the mother?[/quote]

Probably a 20-something who just made $500k.[/quote]

Kids need mothers.  Hopefully, she will be involved in some way.[/quote]

My happily adjusted adult niece and nephew of two dads would disagree.

Also, my four kids of two moms would disagree that kids need dads.

Kids need LOVE.  Period.

As someone who was in the system and aged out, I will proclaim that over and over and over.  Adoption rules need to be overhauled.  Love matters the most, NOT the size of the parent's paycheck or that each kid has their own room or that they are given a five-star life.  Can their needs be met?  Great, adopt away!     [/quote]

DP (first response on this thread).  I agree that kids need love most of all.  I also believe that in many (most?)  cases, two parents (of any sex or gender) are better than one.  Two parents are more likely to create or find balance.  It also gives kids more outlets, choices, time with a parent.  My position on this comes from my own childhood, as the child of a single mom (by divorce, father moved out of state) who was a horrible parent -- rages, threats, abuse, narcissism.  There was only ever her way, her choices, her priorities.  Another adult in the house would have been so much better for me.

I also base my opinion on many of the single parents by choice that I know personally -- not all, but many are rather self absorbed and are single because they cannot (or don't want to) compromise in the ways that we all need to do for healthy adult relationships.  Some are very controlling of their children.  They also are their kids whole world, in ways that, in my observation and opinion, can be unhealthy.  I don't think that's an ideal environment for kids.

I also wonder, in situations like Anderson Cooper who has a big job and works a lot, who is really raising those children.  Does a single parent like that (I"m sure he's a great person, means well, and will love that little boy) really meet the child's needs (or will he give he child a five star life and pay others to meet those needs?).

I am NOT saying that there should be a law against single parenthood, or that children should be taken away from divorced or widowed parents or anything absurd like that.  None of it is easy and I worry that we have reached a point where we are so eager to celebrate single parenthood that we stop asking what's best for the child.
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