Reply to Thoughts on grandparents paying private school tuition for one grandchild and not others

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have three married children, all with kids, and we do our very best to be fair but it's not always equal. For every grandchild we set up 529's with the same amount of money and we gift each family the same amount of money at Christmas. That money can be used for private schools, savings, whatever. But, they have each had specific needs that we have been able to help them with. Bridge loans, IVF treatments etc. All three have benefited from it but the dollars aren't the same. We have told them that over time we will do our best to be fair but that [b]we are not going to keep a tab running to make sure it's all equal. There is no doubt that if one of them was to lose a job or have a SN child we would throw equal out the window and they are all mature enough to accept it.[/b] [/quote]

My kids are only teens, but  they know this is how we are going handle financial gifts - we will try to be equal.  Regardless of their personal life choices, the future doctor will get the same as the future yoga instructor.  The more independent, competent child should NOT be penalized  because her sibling is less ambitious, hard working.

Their inheritance is a gift of our love, unconditional and equal- it's important they feel this throughout their lives, not just as children.

And regardless if they care or not, we want to be fair in case it does breed resentment. I want my kids to be close, not drive a wedge between them with MY actions.[/quote]

I talked to my husband about this and I think I want to have a certain dollar amount set aside for each child. For example say it’s 250k- the Doctor child can use that for Med school if they want whereas the yoga teacher who did not need to go to grad school can have that money to start a business or a down payment. I think this is more fair as the Med student tuition will cost me more and the yoga teacher didn’t get that pay out. [/quote]

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