Reply to Do I have a right to be upset with my 25 year old DD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm going against the grain but I would absolutely tell her I was disappointed she didn't attend and that we don't know how many birthdays grandma has left, and see what her response is.  And I would expect my mother would do the same thing if I made the choice your daughter did.  We are a "tell it like it is" family although we say our peace respectfully and don't nag or carry on.[/quote]

Np. [b]If you were my mom and "told it like it was" then I would probably skip more events[/b].  If you nag or try to make someone guilty than they might not want to be in your company.  I'm sure the dd can and will see grandma another day.  I think the older generation can use that "her last birthday card" for years and at some point it gets tiresome.[/quote]

Proud of being spiteful... how immature.
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NP. I agree I would be unlikely to come to more events if my mother spoke to me as stated. Spiteful or not it would not have the outcome mom would be hoping for.[/quote]

You should be able to handle someone expressing disappointment with your actions.  That's part of being an adult.  No one is perfect and yes, even you can make mistakes (and get called out on it by the people who love you). You don't get to be immune from criticism just because you have reached adulthood, and that goes for any relationship you are in.  A mature thing to do would be to hear your mother's concerns and then discuss why you made the choice you did in a non accusatory, reasonable manner.  [/quote]

Then you have to be the grown up and accept the fact that I may want to do even less with you and Grandma.    If you are adult than you have to accept an adult's choices.  Nobody wants to be around people who nag them all the time.[/quote]

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