Reply to If I do, how horrible a human am I?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the people who insist you talk to your DH, that's what they would want if they were in his position because they assume they would work with you on a compromise.

Only you know your DH and whether a conversation will [b]further emasculate him and make him angry, resentful and more sad about his disability.  [/b]I have a somewhat similar situation and there is no way I would burden my spouse with the knowledge that I found an outside outlet that allows me to stay married and sane.[/quote]

You don’t think that lying, being deceitful, and selfishly making the decision on your own to find a sexual partner outside the marriage might emasculate hi,, and make him sad, angry, resentful and more upset about his disability? You don’t think that he deserves to participate in the decision of how the rest of his marriage will go? Maybe there’s a compromise, maybe there isn’t, and they may need to part ways. What’s the point of being married if you’re making all the decisions that are integral to your marriage solely for yourself?

This isn’t a one night stand - OPs DH will be disabled forever, and this actually needs a solution. There are professionals that can work through this with them, offer them help to increase their own intimacy,and help work through the other feelings if stepping outside the marriage is a workable solution for the two of them. [/quote]

But they have zero intimacy and he is fine with it.  It's not a situation where she can pass an STD or she is sexually spent with nothing left for him. She isn't cheating him out of anything that he wants.[/quote]

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