Reply to The crisis coming that is taboo to talk about

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had children not "caregivers". Of course my grown children are going to be free to live their lives.  Visit me - yes.  But put aside their own responsibilities to themselves, their spouse, their children, their employer to care for me? No way.

I am going to be sure to write that out, date it and sign it. I'll give each of my kids a copy of what I've written while I'm of sound mind and body - when it's ME talking.

There are far worse things in life then not getting perfect care in your old age.[/quote]

This is so, painfully, naive.  Have you never had an elderly relative?

If what you wrote above were possible, my husband and I certainly would have done so, as would my mother and his mother, but it's not possible.  Even if you have oodles of money (which they do), live in assisted living facilities (which they do), have financial people and caregivers and support systems (which they do) and are of sound mind (one is, one isn't) managing the old ladies is a constant stream of duties big and small.

I wish you the best, I really do, but to write something like you wrote above requires an optimistic streak that is crossing the border into arrogance.    [/quote]

I might not be as harsh as the PP, but I agree with PP. My parents had the same mindset and they have totally done me in. You get old and your mind changes and you get scared and next thing you know they send the whole extended family harassing you and you get a barrage of anxious calls. Plus, they are your parents and you care and want to help them. The siblings who walk away only can because somebody steps up because yes, in some cases there will be death if you don't get involved. Their IQs plummet and the crazy skyrockets. It's hell on earth. I would instruct your kids about the importance of good therapy, good meds, finding ways to realistically set boundaries, etc. I also plan tot rack my cognition and I pray I will be able to fly off and do assisted suicide before it's too late. It breaks my heart to think of my own kids enduring what I do. it quite literally did in my cosins health and killed one of my aunts.[/quote]

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