Reply to I do 75% of childcare and still DH wants to split bills

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Reply to "I do 75% of childcare and still DH wants to split bills"

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[quote=Anonymous]An au pair will be as much management as anything else - read the AP forums, it seems some huge chunk of the APs are here to party and don't give a damn about childcare. At least you live in DC so you'll only get APs butthurt they're not in NYC or LA as opposed to APs butthurt they're off somewhere in say Rockville. But in a 2BR place it won't work, not really.

Divorce may solve some problems but it will create more. You'd be coming back in five years upset that your husband's new wife is being mean to you, or that he's introduced a new GF five days too soon for your tastes, etc. Whatever you don't like about him will continue and whatever minimal influence you have on him will be eliminated.

The various Dave Ramsay/Money Mustache things seem focused on eating Ramen, spending every Saturday afternoon in some DIY project around the house, living in crime-ridden neighborhoods, and endlessly sacrificing the present for some unspecified future.

You and your husband are coughing up $1,500 a month to subsidize your in-laws - are they even nice people or are they stereotypical (trailer park/ghetto/barrio/hudong) trash that you could give $5,000 a month to and they'd still be needing more money? Or is there always some Crisis that only another $500-$600 can solve?

(We assume, of course, they're not racking up bills to - or giving money to OTHER even more deadbeat relatives who have racked up bills to - friends of Marlo Stanfield/Tony Soprano/Walter White. Said friends don't take credit cards and aren't keen on payment plans.)

With that said, he can't live in NW DC, save 25% of his income on top of massively subsidizing his parents. What is his goal? Buying a house? A $150k down payment will take six years to happen at the rate he is saving. Pay off student loans? Or does he just get a warm fuzzy feeling looking at all the nice numbers in his accounts (on the left side of his decimal points).

What importance does he put on, well, enjoying the marriage? Babysitting exchanges and free activities can reduce the cost, which in NW DC can really run up.

How tied are you guys to NW DC? There are worse things than long commutes, despite what the DCUM crowd will tell you. Of course the thing is you'd then start having cars, which while increasing your freedom will also create additional cost. But again, this is DCUM, where the suburbs are evil inCARnate and a horror worse than the prospect of going without Whole Foods. [/quote]

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