Reply to How to deal with my mother's absolutely appaling Christmas idea?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don’t you just tell your son about it? Say “your crazy grandma seems to think...” and let him know. Tell him you love him and do t want him embarrassed. Then tell your mom you told him and he laughed. Even better if it happens in front of her.

He’s 16. He can handle it. Grandma will be mortified and preempted. Problem solved. Enjoy Christmas.[/quote]

This. Tell him in advance, game plan his reaction for the day and how best to deal with toxic grandma. It's one of the best gifts you can give him.

Not everyone has a loving, mentally stable grandmother, best to teach son how to deal with her because it won't be the last time. Give him skills to use after you are gone, and enjoy the rest of your family at Christmas.

It's ok to stay home, but sometimes those of us you are open about what our relatives are like, teach our children how to deal.with them, and show up anyhow are teaching by example.[/quote]

Absolutely not. Your child needs to know that you 100% have his back and you won’t tolerate cruelty, even from a family member. There is no reason to subject him to this. None. [/quote]

+1 Not going IS teaching him how to deal with cruelty. If people insist on being cruel to you, they do not get to enjoy the pleasure of your company.

What are you teaching him by saying, we know this person is planning to cruelly humiliate you in front of everyone, but you just need to go there and deal with it because it's your dear old grandma? That's teaching him to be a doormat, and that her cruel-hearted feelings are more important than his, and that he deserves to suffer this humiliation. That is not a lesson I would teach my child.[/quote]

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