Reply to 30 year old DH blowing up his life

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, a psychiatrist explained to me once: people who can't find happiness as they are, are always trying to change everything else in their environments, like their partners, their jobs or their locations. But making drastic changes never makes them happy. They first have to address their own issues, whether it's depression or something else, so that they're happy in their own skin.

The psychiatrist told me this in connection with my XDH, who may share things in common with your DH. XDH struggled with mental issues for years, some diagnosed (ADHD, severe depression) and probably some undiagnosed (bipolar, like his brother who has a bipolar diagnosis). For 20 years, XDH was always trying to uproot our lives with suggested cross-state moves and major job changes that were unrealistic given his credentials and lack of work ethic. Finally he decided that I was the problem and left. When he left, he was clearly in some sort of manic phase or over-medicated. His high school friends reached out to me about a bunch of really dumb decisions he made in the months just after leaving. Six months later, he was hospitalized with a breakdown.

You will need to decide if it's possible to dial your XDH's issues back with changes to his medication, or if it's too late. And you will need to decide how much you can take.[/quote]

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