Reply to Tween not invited by friends to trick or treat

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Tween not invited by friends to trick or treat"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Many of us host Halloween parties. Our kids are trick or treating with groups that are invited to the house before or after, for bingo and pizza and beer for the parents. It’s not just a matter of trick or treating, there’s more to it than that, and OP doesn’t know what those other tweens are doing both with the friends and parents.[/quote]

I think this is the question, and for OP, the disconnect between her, her DD and the group.  Is it a family party that involves trick or treating, or is it just kids getting together to go trick or treating?  If it's just trick or treating I think DD can ask to go along.  If it's a party that kids and parents and siblings are all going to together then I think you can't ask to be invited.

It sounds to me like OP's child IS friends with these girls, but that OP is not friends with the parents, and the parents aren't interested in more friends.  10/11 is a weird age where families are in transition from parent-led planning to kid-led planning.  OP's DD shouldn't not be friends with these kids because their parents don't want to be friends with OP, and OP shouldn't need to be friends with the parents in order for her kid to go along trick or treating.  But kids this age are just starting to make their own plans and are still pretty self-centered and oblivious to others.  So I think OP's DD would be fine to say she'd like to come, would that be OK.  And if the answer is "this is a party my parents decided who's coming" then that's the answer.

It's theoretically possible that they don't want to be friends with DD, but if that's the case they would be declining invitations by OP too, not coming over for play dates and festive fun at OP's house but never inviting.  If they respond well to OP's invitations but never reciprocate, then I think it's a problem with the adults, not the kids.  Kids spend a lot of time with their friends at school.  They can be really good school friends and still not see each other much outside of school unless the parents arrange it.  I think this is going to work itself out for OP as her DD transitions even more to kids making their own plans with who they want and the parents being less involved all around.[/quote]

No, it’s not okay to ask to join a group you weren’t invited to if you know it’s already a group that’s formed and you weren’t invited to be a part of.

Okay:  10/1/19 “what are you going as for Halloween?  Want to go together?”

Not okay when you already know a group of kids already have plans to go together and you weren’t asked:  “what are you going as for Halloween?  Want to go together?”
 [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics