Reply to Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It

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Reply to "Forcing Adopted Asian Child to have Bat Mitzvah when Child Does not Want It"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like this child may have been adopted quite late in life? Otherwise, it should be ingrained/implicit as part of her religion, culture, and routine (high holy day services at a minimum) that she would become a bat mitzvah. If she was going to Hebrew school from a young age, again it wouldn't be a "whether" but "when."

As their child, whether adopted or not, they get to decide the religion at this point in her life. I was baptized and confirmed despite wanting little to do with it. I don't see it any differently here just because she is adopted.[/quote]

A Bat Mitzvah is a ton of work for one thing. It involves a lot of tutoring together with Hebrew school. If a kid is say struggling in school or just plain stressed out to begin with you really need to evaluate if it's worth it. It's a lot of pressure for some kids and for what exactly? it's no guarantee the kid marries Jewish one day and raises kids Jewish. You don't need proof of Bat Mitzvah to join a shul one day. I don't think I have ever discussed Bat Mitzvah's with Jewish friends other than we say how much we hated the studying and couldn't enjoy the celebration due to nerves. We also discuss how showy and over the top some have become today and how we see young girls dressed like they are going clubbing. Some of my Jewish friends never had them to begin with. The whole meaning of the ritual has changed. These young people are not entering adulthood at 13 and it should be a joyous occasion, not something forced upon a child struggling with identity issues. If anything it should be worked out in therapy if the child is truly distressed. [/quote]

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