Reply to Would it be too push for me to request my daughter be put in some classes with friends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have social anxiety and can relate.  Yes - if you can try to switch her schedule around that would be great but if not you really need to get her to see a professional about her social anxiety.  Even if her classes get switched, you should still help her out.  This is just one year that her schedule is like this, maybe next year she will have classes with her friends.  [b]What will happen when she goes off to college and doesn't go to the same school as her friends? [/b] What about after that when she starts a job where none of her friends work at?[/quote]

A lot of people have brought up the question of "what about when she goes to college?"  I feel like that is different because she will be around a group of the same people often in a very social environment such as her Freshman dorm, possibly a sorority, etc. HS is different because she's not in a sport or activity like marching band where she has consistent social interaction with the same group of kids. Her school is huge, and has a lot of different lunch sections,so even if she becomes friendly with someone in her French class, she most likely won't have any other classes or lunch with her. It just seems like she doesn't have The opportunity to spend time with a specific group of people for her to really get to know them, which is what she needs to come out of her shell and make friends.

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[b]Op, your theory may be correct. However, there's nothing you can do about it. Honestly, just think forward to next semester even (forget college for now). Will you ask the school to reschedule AGAIN? Each and every semester of HS? If she wants consistency, she needs to join a sport or a group, not have her mom reschedule her classes so she can be with friends. [/b]
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Of course I can't control it for the rest of her life, but that doesn't mean that things have to suck for her NOW. And l think that if she was with her friends during lunch or at least in a class, she would have a much better chance of making new friends, so the chances of her being in this situation would be greatly reduced later on in high school. And like I said in an earlier post she's not in a school sport or group where she will be with the same group consistently enough to be able to realistically (for her) Make friends. I wish she was, and if she were in such a sport or group, I wouldn't be considering making this request. Unfortunately the opportunity for her to be in such a group doesn't exist. [/quote]

[b]I thought you said it is a big school? What do you mean there aren't any opportunities for her to join a group? [/b]

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The groups that meet CONSISTENTLY enough for her to get to know people well are sports and Marching band.  The sports are very competitive, and she wouldn't be able to make a team, and she's not in band.  Yes there are clubs, but they don't meet often.  Once a week is the most frequent that any of them meet. [/quote]

She has her classes, the kids on her bus or route to school, kids at lunch, kids in clubs. She has lots of opportunities to meet kids and develop friendships. She lacks the ability to develop those friendships. She's been faking it by depending on her existing friends to make friends, and then those kids become friends of hers.

You need to get her help. She is not always going to be able to have existing friends - as you can see right now. And you say that in highly structured environments she's fine making friends (e.g. rush). But, classes, clubs, those are highly structured environments that encourage social interaction among the kids, and she's not fine.

She's not fine. Get her help, please.[/quote]

+1.

[b]Also, I'm confused about your insistence that you'll interfere just this one semester. [/b]

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Actually I never insisted that I would interfere just this one semester.  In response to the what about college, work,.... I said that obviously I know that I wouldn't always be able to step in and help her out.  [/quote]

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