Reply to My husband just doesn’t get it. Barely engages with 8 week old.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Well hallelujah, my husband held the baby yesterday while eating his saltines and cheese so I could move on to other tasks like laundry or cooking.

Also, “sleep when the baby sleeps” is BS. I’m lucky if baby wants to sleep anywhere but my chest. He will have one good nap in the morning on our walk but after that he wants to be held all. the. time. He’s not colicky, he’s a baby who just constantly craves touch. It’s hard to get a decent shower or anything done in a reasonable amount of time and yes I’ve tried baby wearing and sometimes it just makes him fuss or cry more.

And yes, I would love it if my DH could contribute to the cooking or laundry and I’m going to just ask politely from now on since apparently that’s what I need to do to get him to contribute to the household. I cook probably 6 meals out of the week. I don’t know, maybe the secret to having a contributing partner is to train him like a dolphin with positive reinforcement.

He is in for a rude awakening when I return from work. I work later than he does so he will need to relieve the nanny and I’m not sure how that will affect his 1 hour time in his man cave (aka, the bathroom), when he finds out that it’s going to cost us overtime wages for the nanny.

At the end of the day I’m just touched out and stressed at the piling laundry or dishwasher that needs to be unloaded. And yes, I have started 20mg Prozac so hopefully that helps with the irritability. [/quote]

LOL. Hang in there OP. Your 2nd post almost made me check the date, because I could have written this verbatim, right down to gobbling cheese and crackers. Mine ate them by the pack. An entire pack of cheese, an entire pack of saltines, and a knife. Literally.

Anyway, yes positive reinforcement works, but don't build resentment and attack with your wit. It's more for your benefit than his - not worth getting frustrated on overpaying a nanny. Seriously. Be thankful you have a nanny and its not worrying about who will pick up the DC in the pouring rain when the metro is impacting your stroller commute and the school is closing early. And you barely have gas money and have a low flat tire.

8 weeks is really, really, REALLY hard. You're mesmerized by the beautiful welcome of life, and also the reality of whatever state your life is, slaps you HARD in the face. Just be assured that more than likely, hormones and postpartum symptoms are a major contribution to some of the stress, as it is not easy to spend nearly 2 years without control of your body as you grow a life, then adjust to its removal. I'm glad you're getting Rx to help. 25mg of Zoloft changed my life for the better. Hugs.

DH will learn over time. Or not. But you have to make a decision as a mother to protect your wellbeing, and subsequently your child's, by not getting spun up in a way that harms your health, rest, sleep, emotions, whatever - you have to still do what you have to do. And it should be what you want to do, with joy! You want to be present in life, and not stress, and laugh, etc. You're responsible for that, not the action of another person. It is all in your attitude.

Ask me how I know? ;) [/quote]

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