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[quote=Anonymous]If the plan is to move the step son in and you are staying then do everything you possibly can to document the situation moving forward. 
- I would photograph every single room in the house. I'm talking a picture of every wall in every room. Store these photos on the cloud so that you can access them from any location.
- Get a nanny cam. Actually get a few and put them in the public spaces of the house. This is so that there might be video evidence of any verbal or physical outbursts that happen.
-Set the rule now that step son is not allowed in dd's bedroom. And she is not allowed in his room.
- you don't say how old dd is but does she have a cell phone? If old enough get her one to keep in her room.
-if you don't have a land line I would get one now and put phones in multiple rooms.  If there is a problem the police can get to you faster if the 911 call comes from a traceable land line.
-review with your daughter your family emergency plan. (this is for all kinds of emergencies like a house fire or her step brother getting violent) She needs to know what neighbor to run to in an emergency.
-start an online journal for yourself.  Once again this needs to be on the cloud so you can get to if from outside of the house.  Add to it every single day. If there are no problems on a day then write that. 
-plan on NEVER leaving your dd alone with the step brother.  Until he has proven he can be calm I would not leave her in the house without you even if dad is there too.
-If your husband doesn't want to give the son rules then you give your husband your rules. In writing, preferably in an email so there is a record of it.  these should be reasonable rules based on ensuring a safe environment for you and your daughter. Don't be nit picky.  I don't care if there are dirty clothes all over his bedroom or that his bathroom is filthy.  But there will be NO illegal substances in the home at any point. No open flames in his room. No smoking of anything in the house.  No vaping in the house. No overnight guests. Set a time when "friends" have to leave at night.

Document everything. You are putting things in writing so that you and your husband can survive this together.  [/quote]

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