Reply to IL’s kid is a nightmare and I don’t want him back at our house.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I 100% get it’s annoying and with a newborn your protection instincts are in sicko mode so this all seemed way worse than it was. A 4 year old boy is a rowdy creature as you’ll discover when your newborn is this age. He was bored in a not kid friendly apartment and has no idea sticking his hands in a baby’s face isn’t okay. Yes your SIL should’ve corralled him better but he doesn’t sound THAT bad or abnormal. [/quote]

The boy sounds pretty normal. His parents sound like permissive jerks. That’s reason enough not to have them over for a long time. Eventually the boy will e old enough to have a better sense of what’s appropriate behavior, even if his parents refuse to show him. [/quote]

A lot of people can’t separate their feelings about the parents from the kids so they just say crap about the kid like “Terror” and “monster” like OP did. It’s clear she doesn’t like the SIL so she’s transferring that onto a 4 year old who is literally four and not responsible for this.

Op, again, totally get your frustration. I was a high maintenance FTM once myself who thought anyone who breathed near my precious newborn was inflicting massive harm upon me. But consider this: you will one day have a 4 year old. They will try and test you; 2-4 is a fun but EXHAUSTING age. You will appreciate a little grace extended your way those days you try and try but someone catches you in a less than flattering 5 minutes when you don’t look like a great mom. Every one of us has had a kid screaming in.a store or inning loose and maybe we took a few extra minutes to gird our loins to wrangle the electric eel again and looked like we were doing nothing. You will feel that pressure to always be perfectly parenting your kid when other people are watching. So maybe five your SIL a little slack and hope that others are just as kind when you’re trying to wrangle a bored and energetic toddler/preschooler who doesn’t want to be in some place you felt you had no choice but to take him. It WILL be you one day in that checkout line or family function. And your kid won’t be a monster and you won’t be a bad mom. This is just how some days are at that age. [/quote]

You’ve nailed it. At first I was on OP’s side, but her later comments about this child shows that she dislikes him. People like this really bother me. They cry and whine about how they need empathy, but don’t reciprocate. I don’t expect her to have the same feelings for her nephew as she has for her child, but she’s made it pretty clear she won’t even try to establish some kind of relationship. I was also the overprotective FTM once upon a time, but OP’s antagonism is extreme and pretty clear.[/quote]

Antagonistic how?! I barely know SIL’s child and am not close with her to begin with. Hrs not really my nephew (I mean sure, if you want to argue that point). But he was there before DH and I married and I never really spent much time with him after marriage aside from holidays.

WTF are you supposed to do if you only see IL’s at holidays and the interactions are brief at best? The whole you “marry the family” thing is not realistic, you don’t just become a family because the pre-existing family has had their entire life to form a bond and then a stranger essentially comes in with zero to little relationship with the rest of them and it takes time to build those relationships.

So no, I’m post partum and have young baby. Bonding with my SIL or her child is not high priority nor are they any less of it because we were never close to begin with. I probably would have been more interested had this visit gone better but it’s really not anything I have the desire to pursue for now.[/quote]

OP the more you comment, the less I like you. You aren’t special because you had a baby. Millions of women have babies every day and manage to be decent human beings. I’m not buying your post partum excuse either. It’s a way to justify your behavior. I think you’re jealous of your SIL because she had the grandson before you. You barely know this child but you’re portraying him as some terrible monster. You’re acting like you’re some innocent victim who’s been traumatized by a child. Grow up, FFS.[/quote]

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