Reply to How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You will never fix this problem.
The key is to stop telling MIL about your mom being there. DH has to avoid this as well. This will possibly help.
Start inviting MIL on outing.  "MIL we are going to the zoo on Saturday and would love for you to join us!"  "MIL we are going to the park on Thursday morning why don't you meet us there?"
Basically invite her to things so she has the opportunity to be part of her grandchildren's lives.  If her weight prohibits this that is not on you.[/quote]

Why would anybody invite someone to an activity what will be a physical hardship for them.  That idea is so cruel.[/quote]

I am obese.  I can go to a park or a zoo.  Seriously, you don’t invite fat people to things because you assume they can’t move their bodies at all?  Just because a heavyset grandmother can’t run after a toddler doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy an outing to the park.[/quote]

Like a lot of things, there is a spectrum of obesity, if you will.

If you are too obese to run after my 2yo, you are not taking my 2yo anywhere unsupervised. Because that would not be safe. If you can safely watch my child, that would be so appreciated. But I'm a realist, and if it's not safe to leave my child with you, it doesn't matter if you are my sister, my mom, my aunt, or my MIL. It's not happening. And if you are so obese that you can't help with housework and child care, then perhaps you should not visit frequently until my children are old enough that we are in a better place to host-host visitors. [/quote]

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