Reply to Did I not do enough to help my DD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just want to say, it also depends on the personality of your kid.

I two kids who do very well academically, but one kid who is open to suggestions, and one kid who is resistant to everything.  [b]That latter kid will not be very competitive because besides having no hooks, she doesn't have much to make her stand out (unless watching reruns of "Friends" or hanging out in Sephora counts). Her extracurriculars are not that interesting from a college perspective (she goes to the gym, runs, goes to a local dance place which has no competitions...nothing that can prove to a college that she has self-motivation and grit)[/b]

I've let it go, because there's only so much pushing I can do given her personality.  I've also let it go because I'm remembering that she is not on drugs/having sex/engaging in anything risky, and happy at her gym and dance classes.

OP and PPs, although I'm sad about it, I've had to make peace with it.  Her brain is very interesting and philosophical, and I can imagine her with like-minded peers, grappling with the big questions, at a great university.  She seems made for a very intellectual place.  But you have to look at the whole child, not just that one part of them that is exceptional.  Even if that exceptional part is her brain, which I would think that a university would want.

And I guess I'll just add that you have to look at the limitations of the parent, and this kid has worked me over so hard on various things that I have finally detached some; I had to, as at one point it was affecting my own health and I was neglecting the rest of my family.  Sadly she has won her battles but lost the war when it comes to mom being her big champion in the college app process or anything else.  As I was typing this I was interrupted by her, telling me how she was refusing to go to something tomorrow that she committed to going to.  No argument from me; although it makes me sad.  Big internal sigh and I just think, "whatever."[/quote]

Sounds a lot like my DS.  It's definitely hard to let go and make peace with it in this competitive environment.  But, he is who he is.  He'll need to target schools that are more stats-driven since he does have good grades and should have good SATs (based on strong PSAT).  Given who he is, he probably wouldn't be happy at a highly competitive school anyway. At least he has figured out a clear academic direction, wanting to major in math.

It's funny, my DD is now very driven with her extracurriculars but when they were little positions were the reverse -- DS wanted to do everything and DD didn't want to do anything except play by herself outside.  It was weird to feel like I was fighting against the parental stream in not signing her up for dance, soccer, etc. But the one time we tried a class with her she just sat and refused to participate.  So, I had to learn then to let go of meeting outside expectations of what a kid "should" be doing and then had to learn it all over again when DS became a teen.[/quote]

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