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[quote=Anonymous]I agree, talk to an orthodox rabbi dealing with many BTs who is familiar with america.

FWIW, I sympathize with you, OP.  I think many people reading this don't understand the cultural milieu of modern Judaism.  
For me personally, I would attend the wedding based on the following touchpoints:
* Shalom Bayit and the importance of Family
* an understanding that if your sister considers herself an atheist, then the religion part sort of doesn't matter.  yes, she may technically  be jewish, but she is rejecting it. If she had made the decision to convert formally to a different religion and get married in a church/mosque etc., would you go? I would not be happy but would theoretically go. Frankly, i have a much bigger issue with a wedding that has a rabbi and a minister than a wedding that is set up like a civil ceremony with a justice of peace (or a universal life/internet certification officiant), which is along the lines of what I would assume an atheist would have.
*  you wrote "throwing away the potential happiness that comes with having a Jewish family. "  There are a LOT of people who find their way back to relgion/religious practice as adults, OP. you have no idea what your theoretically nieces/nephews will do/discover in X years anyway. I think you need to recognize, even in writing this, that you are in the midst of your own religious journey.  As some mussar, think about the parallels about how your own parents are perceiving your decision to be a BT and how it is a rejection of what they taught you.
* If you want a relationship, figure out how to be there.[/quote]

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