Reply to DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?

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Reply to "DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, here is something to think about.

Do you feel that it is your husband's job to make you intrinsically happy.

My husband was in the military and then switched to the reserves, but has experienced many deployments and very long hours over the years. I will be honest, I built my own life with our family that frequently did not include him, and I rarely missed him. I love him, enjoy his company when he is around (now he is around more, but still works in a job with long hours).

I am there for my kids, and when they ask about him, I say that he loves them, he has to work late, and that they will see him soon. You haven't said how old your kids are, but once their bedtimes are later, he will absolutely see them more.

I doubt we make anywhere near what a biglaw/physician family would make, and somehow I manage to not be resentful-- and have had a whole village of spouses with similar outlooks over the years. I think it is personality driven.

If you miss him all the time, wonder if he's missing you and the kids, calling to ask him when he is going to call you-- you will be miserable. Maybe you aren't cut out to have an absentee spouse. It's impossible to determine if you are being "reasonable". Live your own independent life and be happy or get a divorce. A therapist may be a good idea to work through your feelings.

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