Reply to Drowning as a working mom--help!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again--this really blew up!  I appreciate getting so much helpful feedback!

I wanted to clarify that I am not a doctor and I make a fraction of what an MD makes (50% at best).  We make enough to afford bimonthly cleaners and this has been a longstanding discussion/argument between me and DH.  At this point, I don't feel I have it in me to go another round.

Also, I have definitely considered after care many, many times and what has held me back is that I negotiated my current schedule with the understanding that this would be a 40 hr/week arrangement.  I have really resented the job creep and the fact that I work far more than 40 hours, hence have resisted trying to get into aftercare.  But that said, it's a moot point for the next 6 months bc there is already a wait list at our school.

I did sign kids up for enrichment 1 day/week which means I don't have to run out of work every single day, starting next month, and am hoping to use that time to catch up as much as possible.

I mentioned in a prior post that DH does all of our laundry (mine included), makes dinner on weekends, runs/empties the dishwasher some mornings...I agree that I do more, but he's stepped it up.  We do online grocery ordering, Amazon Prime, and takeout once a week.

I am definitely looking into more meal prep on weekends!  And I wish I could say that I look amazing but the 5 days a week of working out is much more for my sanity than my body :) [/quote]

They should be in aftercare regardless of whether you negotiate a 40 hr-week schedule.  You agreeing to do a radically early flex time in order to pick them up from school is only screwing yourself over -- you don't get a part-time job OR childcare.  40  hrs is fulltime.  You shouldn't attempt to work full time AND do childcare.  [/quote]

+1 And you are also screwing over your kids in your attempt to be superwoman. At 2nd and 5th grade, they'll do better with 90-120 hours of aftercare with their peers than plopped in front of a tv while their mom is stressed out and trying to work.[/quote]

At their ages, they don't need to be in front of the TV even if at home.  They can read, play, do homework ... [/quote]

Either way, I think a lot of OP's anxiety comes from rushing out at 3 or whatever to get the kids and feeling like work isn't done and leaving when the office is still in full swing. it might be better if she had the kids in aftercare, wrapped up her work at work, and then got the kids.[/quote]

I don't disagree at all!  Weirdly though, I find that sticking my kid in front of the TV actually does not make the house feel more relaxed (unless it's a Saturday morning and enables me to sleep ... ) He's old enough not to get in my way when I'm cooking or doing chores.  Something about having him vegged out in front of the TV (and having to hear it) after a long day at work & school just makes the house feel icky and de-energized.  And I'm not against screen time at all ... my kid gets a massive unlimited amount of it on the weekends.  [/quote]

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