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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What "works"?

That depends on what the objective is.

OP has to decide what he is willing to live with and how much he is willing to sacrifice, and he basically needs to put his marriage on the line, since it already is, anyway.

Either he wants to live the rest of his years in a sexless marriage, with an indifferent spouse, or he doesn't.  Only three other alternatives:  divorce, open marriage, or she becomes more sexually open.  The choice is really hers.

The choice to continue the status quo and do nothing about it is OP's, and he needs to stop complaining about it and actually do something.

Doing something doesn't mean more chore play, and it doesn't mean more ineffectual date nights.

It means setting forth very clearly what he wants sexually from his wife, and what he is going to do if she is unwilling to have sex with him on a reasonably regular basis.

If he's not willing to do anything, other than complain, and then reward her for the sexlessness by taking her out on more dates, and doing more chores, then in ten years he will be in the same place, except older, with fewer options.

The sad part is OP's wife is probably already cheating on him, or has cheated in the past, and carrying a torch for her lover.  She has "fallen out of love" with OP and that generally doesn't happen unless there is another man in the picture.

This rabbit hole is deep and the only question is whether OP has the guts to go down and explore it, wherever that leads.[/quote]

All you men who think you have to “lay down the law” and “take control” are so pathetic. Yes, it’s 2018 and if a woman isn’t turned on by you she doesn’t have to just to keep a roof over her head. I guess patriarchy was invented for insecure men like you.

— DW whose husband knows how to seduce (by which I mean all of me, body and soul)[/quote]

If you're not turned on by your husband enough to have sex with him more than rarely, you shouldn't have gotten married to him in the first place.  If you did, you're an idiot.  If you're not turned on by your  husband any longer, than please feel free to divorce him, or not, if you need to stay married for some reason, but then don't expect him to remain faithful.

As far as needing to "seduce" you, I assume if you were adequately attracted to your husband, he wouldn't have to play whatever mind games you mean by "seduction" just for you to want to have sex with him.

So maybe you should divorce him, unless you need that roof over your head.[/quote]

LOL you sound like such a winner, PP. I bet the ladies love you.

As for seduction...my husband is not American. He takes a more playful approach to life. A conversation can be seduction. A look. Anything fun. It is about enjoying each other, the more you have fun and love the closer you feel.

This thread is a sad look into the mind of insecure masculinity. OP, take note — being insecure and dictating terms to your partner is not fun or sexy. Unless you have agreed to play that game, of course.

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