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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, I'm so sorry you are in the situation. It's very sad and I can only imagine how you feel. Have you spoken to DH about it again? Have you decided to go to counseling? Sending you hugs and remember, you will feel better in time. [/quote]

It’s OP again. Thank you to everyone who has commented here with support, advice and similar stories. To the people posting about their sexless marriages and how their spouses deserve to be cheated on—I already said that is not what happened here. I thought we had a happy, loving, sexy life together, which is why I’m completely blindsided by this. We’re in our early 40s but have been together since college.

I have asked him a million questions and gotten some satisfactory answers, but I still have no idea what to do or how to feel better. He started counseling this week and I’m looking for a therapist. Maybe we’ll do joint counseling at some point. I’m doing a lot of compartmentalizing so I can manage work and kids, but not really sleeping or eating. My stomach hurts and if I let myself think about it too long, I have trouble breathing. So, I’m not doing well.

I’ve seen pictures and lots of personal info about the woman. She has a blog and shares a lot of stuff about her family...I don’t know if knowing all that is helpful or not. It definitely makes me feel like shit.  I believe that it was a one night stand (based on texts), but don’t know why he would do it.  “Why” is the hardest part—am I going to feel better if he finally says, “I did it because I’m tired of you” or “I did it because I’m a huge jerk and don’t care about you at all”? There’s really no good to come of it.

As for the condom question: when I wrote that bit, I was wondering where the box of condoms was (because he said he used one) not meaning that I had the box and more than one was missing. He says he threw the rest away before he came home...I don’t know if that’s the truth or not.[/quote]

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