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[quote=Anonymous]You just can’t adequately prepare for it. You know it’s coming. You remember (vaguely) what you were like and how you felt about your own parents during those years, but you just can’t imagine your own kids really feeling THAT negatively about you because, well...you’re cooler/more laid back/not plagued by the flaws your own parents had.

We’re actually only in the early stages of teendom and, by all accounts, DS isn’t that bad. But he’s sarcastic and when he doesn’t get his way, he lashes out in a condemning way. And while I know it’s natural, I just will not suffer being talked to that way. So far, I disengage with him when he becomes rude. But it’s hard. Sometimes the temptation to give it right back is really great, and it’s hard to emotionally distance yourself enough to remember that this is a phase, not who he really is or will be.

I constantly wonder whether I’m striking the right balance between supervision and letting him make decisions and mistakes and experience the consequences.

But mostly, it’s the other teens who are killing me. They’re mean to each other. Everything every kid does is gay or stupid or babyish. Every shirt is terrible. Every haircut is subject to ridicule. And DS is an attractive kid! But he doesn’t think so anymore. Other young teens are so awful that it affects his self-confidence. We talk a lot about not putting any stock in the opinions of people who never say anything nice, but it’s easier said than done. So beneath all the attitude is real hurt that he goes through every day, and it’s hard to watch. [/quote]

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