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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am 35 yo and my MIL (who was nice) died years ago, but I have a lot of empathy for the MILs discussed in this forum.  Many of the complaints seem to be coming from really intolerant DILs who don't want to deal with anyone who makes any demands on their time or patience.  It really baffles me.[/quote]
That is my take as well. If you ask anything besides how is the weather than you are a manipulative, nosey , pushy broad.[/quote]

Do you get that you can *request* someone's time or patience without *demanding* it?

It's all in the approach.

Smart MIL: "We'd love to have you join us at the beach this summer. [b]Is there a week or a long weekend that would work for you?"[/b]

Dumb MIL: "Fred and I bought this beach house for our FAMILY and you NEVER come. Why wouldn't you want to come to this beautiful place?!?! Don't you want your kids to spend time with their grandparents? How many weeks can you stay?"[/quote]

Bolded, exactly.  Be inclusive, act like EVERYONE is a family, not just whoever you pick and choose randomly. Act like everyone in the family matters, and they will do the same for you. [/quote]

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