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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m fascinated by all these “kids need equal time” arguments when in most married couples I know there is one parent that spends significantly more time with the kids but than the other (often mom, but sometimes dad).  Why in divorce is equal suddenly the priority vs status quo?[/quote]

Good question.  I would THINK it's because in a marriage the spouses work as a team for whatever is best for the family.  And unfortunately in divorce, there are probably feelings on animosity and territory when it comes to the kids.  Sometimes there is even poisoning them with "Mommy/Daddy is bad because...".

It's a tough situation and obviously one size does not fit all, which may be the main argument for this 50/50 thing; so each parent has an equal opportunity to parent.[/quote]

I think the issue for some people is about time spent where and that's what the focus is, but 50/50 custody isn't just about where you sleep at night.  It's about who has decision making power, who the school calls when there is an issue or question (could be about academics or health), in many cases "joint custody" that isn't 50/50 will consider all of this, but often once a parent gives up more than 50% they loose the ability to weigh in on other issues. I also think it's easy to cast stones and make judgments when you are not in the situation.  Having married into a 50/50 custody situation I can honestly say what seemed unusual and hard on the kid from the outside looking in, was really much more manageable and stable than many situations I have observed where there are two parents in the same household or a single parent.

Suffice it to say, there are people who will make custody decisions and decide on living arrangements based on money, fear of getting a bad reputation, spite and/or the best interest of the child/children involved and it happens in divorce as well as other family situations.   (Even known a family to move b/c one parent wanted to be in a bigger house when it meant a longer commute for everyone and stretching the budget so thin it created other problems?  Adults can be selfish)[/quote]

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