Reply to Are most adoptees unhappy?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Are most adoptees unhappy?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My third is adopted. It was a calling that DH had VERY strongly and literally told me on our second date so I honored that. I can honestly say I love her as much as my bio kids. I can also honestly say I don't see any issues to come yet (she's 9) but I also know that time is fluid and all things change and can change in an instant.  One theory I always agree with and truly believe in is "Adoption is a permanent solution for a temporary problem."  DD knows her birth mom (Goes by Auntie Larla) and she knows she is her birth mom and it seems like a great relationship from DD's end.  She gets extra presents on holidays and birthday, gets one more audience member at the dance recital, gets an extra valentine etc etc.  I think its a very painful and troubling relationship for birth mom though.  Its 9 years later and now she is done with college, married to a somewhat wealthy person, and has an adorable 2 year old.  She would have NO ISSUES raising DD from this point on. None. She would be great.  But life isn't that way.  Adoption is forever.  Now she's my baby and that pain is real. That pain is raw.  I don't know what I can do about it but I do acknowledge it. [/quote]

Adoptee here.  I don't know if I agree with the adoption is a permanent solution for a temporary problem adage for all adoption.  Certainly some situations, yes.  But you could say that about anything in life, not just adoption.  Life is about doing the best with what we have at the time.

My birth family was super poor (in a different underdeveloped country at the time).  Upon finding them, I have learned that my older siblings were able to go to college and now my birth mom lives a stable and good life with their support.  I believe that the fact that they did not have to support yet another mouth probably contributed to them being able to pull themselves up. In other words, my adoption helped not only me, but also them.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics