Reply to Marriage dynamics - one vs two income households

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, ignore all the responses that are too pro-SAHM or too pro-WOHM.  The SAHMs who can't imagine leaving their child with someone else?  They need to get over themselves.  The WOHMs who can't imagine having an identity if they didn't work outside the house?  They need to get over themselves.  You also need to ignore all the people who have a different spouse than you.  Yes, some husbands with SAHM wives do resent that their wives don't earn but only spend money.  Yes, some husbands do honestly view all money as a joint pot and consider the things that both spouses do, whether income-producing or not, that contribute to the family as a whole.

What you need to do is focus on YOUR situation.  How do you feel about the extra house stuff that you may have to take on if you stay at home?  Does it entice you, scare you, not matter to you?  How does your husband feel about you working or not?  You said he preferred you keep a job until he makes partner, so you need to be very careful to make sure you weigh his feelings.  How do you guys handle finances now?  Since your income is so disparate I think you're actually in a good place to know how things would be if you didn't bring home any money.  I could tell you whether I work and, if so, how much I make versus my husband or what my husband makes or how long we've been married or how happy we are or how many people we know of one group of another who have gotten divorced, but it's all white noise.  Do what works for YOU.  Consider how you feel about having a job, consider how you feel about paying for child care, consider how your husband feels about you having a job, consider how you're going to pay all child-related and household costs, consider how all of that stuff works within the confines of your life.  Crowd sourcing is fine for some things, but I hope you can sift through the load of crap from people with chips on their shoulders and maybe get some useful advice here.[/quote]

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