Reply to Switch custody schedule for ex DH’s honeymoon

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How can you possibly interpret this as me not wanting my kids? Are you stupid? I don’t see how this is even a joke because it’s not funny. My kids love spending time with their dad they know their schedule and they don’t like it changed even when it’s for a good reason like one of us has to travel.
I don’t bad mouth their father or his fiancé so you can stop projecting. I’m not going to tiptoe around her. Them having a 2 week honeymoon has nothing to do with how my kids are treated. It’s pretty messed up for some of you to imply she would be justified in abusing them because of that. You are either sick yourselves or have sick people in your lives.  I may not love her but she wouldn’t hurt my kids in anyway. Neither would my ex allow it.[/quote]

People suggested that you should reframe this in your mind as 2 weeks more with your children, who I assume you enjoy spending time with. As for your children's difficulty coping with a schedule change, my advice to you as a divorced mom with a kid who also knows the schedule is that you at least pretend that this is an exciting schedule change for everyone: they get to spend extra time with you and their dad and his wife get to go on a special marriage vacation to celebrate. Contrary to what the other dried up shrews on this board believe, children are capable of empathy and do want their parents to be happy. If you are able to help your children be excited for their dad's happiness, they will be fine with the schedule change. As for being generally flexible, that is a thing that responsible parents teach to their children. Schedules in life change all the time for all kinds of reasons. Being petulant about it is in no one's best interest, but I can certainly see where your children get that attitude from.

As for your second suggestion, this woman is marrying into the family. In my family, we accommodate each other's wishes to the extent possible. She is not going to feel like she's part of the family if it is made clear to her by you and your children from the day she marries in that her wishes and desires are less important than everyone else's. If she doesn't feel like part of the family, there is no reason for her to treat your children like family. A good person would, but if you are coaching them to be petulant, which is very much what you are doing even if you don't think you are, she has no reason to be nice to you or them.[/quote]

Dear OP, please listen to this rational poster.  [/quote]

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