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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You know why I skipped one of my dearest friend's baby shower?  I couldn't do it.  Another of our friends was going to be there too, hugely pregnant.  I was on year 3 of NOT being able to get pregnant.  I wanted it so badly and I felt so awful DAILY that I couldn't make it happen.  I could not sit there and coo over baby stuff.  I'd done it just a month earlier for another friend, and it almost broke me.  I was surrounded by pregnant friends at every turn (all early 30s married women).

[b]The worst part?  I hated myself for it.  I felt weak and humiliated that I just could not fake it anymore.  I felt sad and desperate and irrational and bitter.  The only thing worse than FEELING that way was everyone else KNOWING I felt that way.  I hated that I had a hard time just being happy for my friends.  I wanted them to be happy!  I was just so so sad for me.[/b]

My advice: love their new kid like crazy, do your best to facilitate the cousin relationship, and DROP the slights or whatever else.  If you are close enough you can say "I'm sorry for what you've gone through, that must have been hard".  
[/quote]

All of this. Your brother was probably doing all he could possibly do to support his anguished, sad and stressed wife.  She probably did the very best she could with the emotions and disappointment that she was facing. I also understand why your feelings were hurt *at the time,* but now that you know, you really need to put it behind you and develop some empathy for all they have gone through. Love on that new nephew/ niece and work to build the kind of relationship you hoped to have with them.[/quote]

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