Reply to How to deal with in-laws who wont listen but want to watch 1 year old?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They can always drive back and use the daycare if they are tired.

What does a state border matter?

Maybe it is nice at the vacation house?

I think that if you are not comfortable with letting them care for her, one of you has to bail on this family obligation.  People do this all the time for their kids.
[/quote]

OP here - This is true and would probably be what happened. The vacation house is just 2.5 hours away and they could drive back.  In the end I think the issue is that my DH trusts them to take her, although he also thinks it would be better for them and her if she was in daycare.  I know she would survive - they love her and they aren't going to feed her the wrong things or keep her up late or anything - it will just be more awkward. I think I just wanted advice on whether I was being unreasonable expecting them to stay in our house/take her to daycare. I'm not comfortable leaving her with them because its hard to leave her in the first place and they have a different parenting philosophy than we do. They are reliable in that my baby would be safe and cared for.

I'm not sure I'm more comfortable hiring a stranger to watch her for the wedding/reception/festivities (all of which are late at night so her coming and needing to go to sleep might pretty distracting from my sister, who does have a reasonable expectation of being the center of attention at her wedding) in a different country.

And you are right - I could back out or DH could stay home. There would be a family rift on our side though, because my sister won't just be pissed, it'll be thing until we're dead. She's close to my DH too. At this point, we are considering DH staying home though or bringing her.

There is also a part of me that things DH is right, that she would be fine with his parents at their second home and all of this would be harder on me than her. Posting on a forum where people have all kinds of different opinions probably wasn't the right answer. [/quote]

Op, I definitely agree with you on one thing: this is the wrong forum for seeking this kind of advice.  The majority of the responses clearly are from working mothers as anxious as you. Ridiculous suggestions that you skip the wedding or that your husband skip the wedding, etc., are crazy. Everything is going to be fine, and the other posters should be telling you that. I really worry about this generation’s children. You are all babying your babies is too much.  Not sure if it’s because you feel bad working and leaving them all day — which you shouldn’t feel bad about at all — or what.

You’ve now clarified that your concern isn’t your baby’s safety but how happy she’ll be.  She will be FINE!  In fact, she’s not even going to remember it.  She’s one lucky baby to have you — and those grandparents.  [/quote]

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