Reply to How much free time is reasonable per day in this situation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband sounds overworked, overstimulated (too social a job for an introvert?) and exhausted.

You mention that his office is too far away to manage lunch dates, which suggests that commute is a window where time can be recaptured.  I would seriously consider moving closer in towards the job, so that he spends less time in his commute and more time at home.  Everyone likes the suburbs, I get it.  But with one kid, city life is manageable and worth the family time the shorter commute provides.

I agree your four year old is up WAY too late.  My four year old goes to bed by 7, maybe 7:30 in the summer.  You say this doesn't affect his 11 hour sleep window, but if he is starting K in the fall, or even just preschool, sleeping in til 8:30 as he currently is won't work anyway.  Even if you move bedtime to 8, that's a full hour of kid-free quiet time that your husband can enjoy without any angst, before he goes to bed at 9.

Switch the sports to the weekdays and handle those runs yourself.  The hour your son is in soccer is not bonding time with his dad.  He could spend that Saturday hour weeding with his dad instead.  My husband LOVES yard work, and my kids love spending time with him, so they do a lot of mulching and trimming and weeding together - yes, even at age 4.[/quote]

Agree that it sounds like the husband is an introvert who isn't getting the alone time he needs to recharge. Agree with a previous poster that given what he's saying he wants, the only place really to budge is time with your child.

I doubt playing Cat's Cradle is going to do it. Can you try giving him the alone time he says he needs - either with outsourcing or whatever other resources you have - and see if that helps?[/quote]

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