Reply to Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all, OP, I like you.  I can relate to your ethnological curiosity and your commitment to stalking lol.

I was born and raised here and my parents came 45 years ago from South Asia.  I am ALWAYS curious about other people's ethnicity and background (anthropology major), but I'm also decent at placing last names and facial features or mannerisms with countries of origin.  That said, I know to keep those guesses to myself and wait for the other person to offer it up naturally.

Sometimes I'll get curious about an ambiguous name (especially Spanish or Portugese names on an Indian-looking person) and I'll google the surname.  This should give you a lot of hits from people from a certain country or region.

I usually do not get offended when someone asks me where I'm from - you can tell their intention from the look in their eyes.  If it's a harmless friend or even stranger, I'll say "I grew up in DC but my parents are from X".  If it looks like a nosy busybody, racist, or someone I just don't feel like engaging with, then I'll just say DC and change the subject or walk away. If you are genuinely friendly with this mom, I don't think you'll offend her. [/quote]

As an Indian American (really half- Indian/half-white, but with an Indian name and appearance) who has live in numerous places in the US - I can tell why the person is asking.  If it’s genuine curiosity, I answer.  If it’s an attempt to categorize me because he or she is uncomfortable and can’t figure out what box I fit in (i.e.  why am I brown and have a fun name) I’ll give a one-state answer and then have fun with the follow ups until the the person gives up or is forced to ask in an awkward way. [/quote]

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