Reply to women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?

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Reply to "women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of this crap can be eliminated. You’re doing this to yourself. Your kids don’t need to be in constant camps or enrolled in multiple activities at once. They don’t need birthday parties beyond a cake at home. Stop doing silly extraneous stuff, learn how to say no sometimes, and chill out. [/quote]

Huh.  So my child doesn't need chilcare in the summer! Imagine that.  I guess we don't need to pay our mortgage, go to the dentist, clean the gutters, schedule the house cleaners, open a 529, rotate summer and winter clothes, attend school academic meetings, see family .... and as for the birthday party, who is going to at least send out invitations to the party and get the cake?  [/quote]

Okay, how many times are you going to the dentist and cleaning the gutters? Get a life, martyr lady. And when you’re on your weekly phone call with grandma, say hey, we are having cake for Snowflake next week. No invitations necessary, again, the martyr sh*t. You’re not helping your cause. [/quote]

Do you have fairies doing all this for you? Are you 12 and your mom adults for you? If you have kids, they are either neglected or someone else is doing the work. I don’t want my kid to sit around and play video games all day. It’s not like the golden days when the neighborhood kids would play pickup baseball/basketball. I need him in sports or activities and in summer camps because we work. I guess I could sign him up for the first thing I see, but I still have to do emergency contact and medical forms, and figure out transportation. Things break, food runs out, bills need to be paid, practices need to go onto the calendar. Cars need registrations and inspections. Everyone needs dentist appointments and physicals. Kids need school supplies, permission slips, homework signed. The more children you have, the more work it is.

There is not a day that something doesn't have to be managed and it's just life, not martyrdom. It is extra work. There's a reason the boss at work makes more money; he has to take care of the paperwork and details I don't want to. In a marriage or partnership, it's not fair to make one person unilaterally responsible unless they volunteer to do it.

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