Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If people don't want to be contacted (for whatever reason), then that's it. That's the end of road. No one has an obligation to talk to the adoptee if they don't want to.[/quote]

And if an adopted child wishes to send letters or emails to his or her biological parent, that child has that right as well. The adopted child also has a right to share any information he or she has learned about birth parents. There may be social norms and etiquette, but that’s not the law.  Another person asked why anyone would think cousins would know about a child who was given up for adoption. Well, why wouldn’t they? Why do we assume that biological mother is our ashamed of their babies or their choice to provide their kids with a better life as is so often stated?   And, most basic of all, having a child is not a private matter. Of course, there are others present for the event, and one would hope that the father would be aware of the baby as well.  Most of all, though, the baby is a person. [/quote]

You think it's okay to keep contacting people even when they have made it clear that they don't want to be contacted? That's harassment. No means no.

Sharing someone else's personal information without their consent can also be considered harassment.

No, Sharing information about the identity of your birth parents is not harassment.   Like everything else, it can be done in a harassing way, but the fact of sharing the information is not harassment in anyway.  And nobody is suggesting repeated contact with one individual that could lead to harassment issues. In the case we are talking about, the mother does not even know that her daughter is attempting to reach her.

This is a case of priorities. In my view, it is more important for an individual to have the opportunity to connect with birthparents than it is for birthparents to be allowed to maintain secrets.  And in the circumstances at hand, the relatives all already know that there is a birth child they were previously unaware of. It is simply the birthmother deciding whether or not to have a conversation to connect in anyway with her birth child. As far as we know, she has no idea this child has reached out to her.

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