Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she makes 20% of the income, it's a hobby. She has the luxury of doing what she loves because she doesn't have the burden and stress of absolutely having to supporting a family on the income. And she's been at it for three years -- that's plenty of time to get into the swing of things and re-establish an equitable work/life balance.

Work is more fun for her than boring old husband and kids. She's being selfish. And don't pretend like her being SAHM while he was working outside of the house was something she altruistically did solely for DH's benefit. He's making $500k per year. She obviously profits greatly from what she helped him achieve. [/quote]

Any job making six figures is not a hobby. That OP earns more does not mean [b]she has to bend to his will and sacrifice who she is[/b] to his paycheck (which would still be true even if she weren't making six figures). If that's what OP expects, they both may be better off if he gets a divorce and a fleshlight.[/quote]

Way to burn down that straw man. OP wants her to be home for dinner with the family and have a regular sex life with his spouse. That's hardly "bending to his will" and "sacrificing who she is." I get that indignation is easier if you turn it into something melodramatic. But OP isn't asking for anything particularly harsh or unreasonable in a marriage. [/quote]

OP has said that his wife loves her work and feels fulfilled by it. We're talking about a person who took seven years off from the work force while raising kid and letting OP chase his professional dreams at the expense of family life, and now has to work twice as hard to make up for that period of unemployment and re-establish herself professionally. I suspect she would say that her professional accomplishments are a big part of who she is (there's no reason for her to go back to work at all if they're not, if OP is being honest that they don't need her income), and that if she had to give them up to take the kind of 9-5 job she could get at this moment in time with her employment history just to satisfy OP, that would be a significant blow to her sense of self.

OP got seven years to focus on himself and his professional ambitions at the expense of his wife and family. She's been doing the same (except less so, since she's not traveling and seemingly is doing more of the household work now than OP ever did then) for less than half that time, and she's the bad guy here? Your biases are showing.[/quote]

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